An Open Letter To Nike Regarding The Air Jordan Fusion


Sorry for not updating as frequently as I should. I just got back to school and it hasn’t been a smooth transition. I think you’ll like this though. Check it out after the break.

Dear Philip Knight et. al,

I hope this letter reaches you in good spirits. I’m a fan of your collection for the most part. I wear Nikes for every occasion short of “no sneakers or street wear.” I’m quite fond of classics such as the AZF’s, Air Uptempo’s, Dunks, and Air Maxes upon others. Additionally you can find me plotting on my next pair of Jordans when I know I can’t afford them.

Now let’s get to the issue behind this document. I’d like to express my dissatisfaction with your line of Air Jordan Fusions. These abominations are a prime example of how two good things shouldn’t combine for the sake of it. I can’t recall anyone that wanted their pair of 5’s crossed with some uptowns. Why force it?

There’s little doubt that Nike has some talented artists. With that said these kicks look like they were constructed by FIT dropouts. It’s not farfetched to assume a room full of chimps with G5’s could design better kicks. What’s worse is they would just throw shit on the screen.

These sneakers are TRASH!!!!

These sneakers are TRASH!!!!

I’m of the opinion that someone high up in Beaverton mistakenly green lighted these monstrosities. Then everyone under him/her OK’ed the decision in fear of getting fired. Part of me reasons with the fact that job security is key nowadays. Times are hard and money is tight. My other half wonders why the hell nobody had enough of a spine to speak out against dropping such shitty kicks. Then again your lead designers probably model their meetings after O-Ren Ishii.

I implore you and your associates to halt production of these hideous shoes. Instead, you could at the very least go back to your old business model of reselling more pairs of Retros. Until then I will continue my campaign against the Air Jordan Fuck Ups. Enjoy your day.


Sam C

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